The Power of Perspective: How that "Bad" Day Could Fuel A Positive Change in Your Life
Thanks for checking in for this edition of Generation Si! 👋👋🏿👋🏽 In Part One of Jorge Valladares’ story, we learned how you can get a do-over, regardless of your expectations of yourself or your current reality.
🌴 Now, in Part Two, you can learn the following:
🌴 Looking for the positive, even when things look grim
🌴 The importance of getting business-related skills – no matter what field you’re trained in
🌴 The need to be aware of your decision-making style as you take on new challenges
🌴This is Part Two of Jorge Valladares’ story…
PIVOTAL MOMENTS – LOOK BEYOND THE IMMEDIATE IMPACT
We all have certain pivotal moments in our life.
Some are good. Some are bad.
At least that’s how we compartmentalize them at the time.
For Jorge Valladares, the big speed bump came in 2008.
“The year that I was graduating was the year of the Great Recession… I found myself without work again.”
He says “again” because it was a struggle for him to find work after he moved to Central Florida from NYC shortly following 9/11.
At the time, he only had a GED.
This time, during the Great Recession, he found himself out of work for 18 months.
And that was even though he’d earned a Bachelor’s degree in Organizational Behavior.
LOOK PAST THE PAIN AND YOU’LL FIND THE POSITIVE
Valladares says that he and his wife had to sell the family home in a short sale. “We had to, you know, get rid of a car.”
It was a difficult time in his life.
But there was something valuable that came out of it.
“I got to be a really great spouse and parent during that time.”
He remembers, “I got to be home and make meals and walk my kids to school, you know, and do homework.”
He also recalls praying for work.
“I remember vividly talking to God and saying, ‘If you give me any job… I promise that I will value it, and I will do it to the very best of my ability.’”
PRAYERS DON’T NECESSARILY GET ANSWERED THE WAY WE EXPECT; THERE’S A DEEPER PURPOSE
God answered his prayers in a way he didn’t really expect; he ended up with a part-time job at Valencia College, serving as the front-line person to greet students.
“And I did what I said I was going to do. I did it to the very best of my ability. And it set me on a great path.”
He worked his way up to professor of psychology and loved it.
Valladares discovered another lesson in the process.
“I was learning that you get out of things what you put into them.”
But, despite working for 13 years at Valencia College and even earning tenure, he knew there was something more he had to pursue.
He wanted to go into private practice.
But he was very specific about what kind of practice it had to be.
“I feel like mental health care can often be a luxury good for people who have resources. And I feel like it’s an essential part of healthy living. And we live in the U.S. where people should have access to good care. And we don’t all have access to good care. And, so, I didn’t want to be for sale. I wanted to be accessible.”
He’s been doing it part-time as a registered mental health counselor intern while finishing up with the clinical hours and other requirements for becoming a full-fledged licensed clinical mental health counselor.
THE PARADOX OF ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING
In the meantime, Valladares has learned a lot, including this broad lesson from one of his mentors, Valencia College President, Dr. Kathleen Plinske.
She told him, “You have learned that you can do anything. Now, it sounds like you’re starting to learn, you can’t do everything.”
What also struck him was that there are specific, business-related lessons involved in starting a clinical counseling practice.
And these were entrepreneurial skills he didn’t learn from a health care-focused education.
BUT CAN YOU RUN A BUSINESS?
“We also have to understand how we can operate in our environment.”
He says that includes answering questions like the following:
“Do we have to sign a contract?”
“How do we use our licenses to run corporations or run businesses?
“Should we be nonprofit or for-profit?”
“Are there other types of [in]corporation that we could use to achieve our goals?”
DO YOU KNOW YOUR DECISION-MAKING STYLE?
Even preferences when it comes to decision-making come into play when you become a small business owner.
Valladares explains this by noting, “I think there are moments of adrenaline and moments of excitement when you get a good idea. And there’s a real temptation to make decisions in a hasty kind of way.”
He urges caution when faced with that kind of pressure.
Unlike many entrepreneurs who believe in acting quickly, Valladares says, “In my way of thinking of things, I don’t have a ‘pull the trigger’ moment. If I ever feel the pressure that I have to ‘pull the trigger’ on something, then I don’t do it.”
That’s where he says his wife comes in, balancing his caution with her fearlessness.
His desire to keep improving and learning more has been fed by his love of books.
Valladares says he’s gotten a lot out of books from Don Miguel Ruiz like “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom.”
WHO, ME? WHAT MISTAKE?
He also recommends a book called “Mistakes Were Made (but not by me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts” by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson.
Valladares say the book resonated with him because it reflects how he deals with mistakes and regret.
“I try not to justify things or write them off. I don’t do that for myself. I accept things as they happen.”
And that’s why no matter what happens with his small business, he won’t regret taking a chance and giving up his tenured position as a professor.
NO REGRETS
Even though he knows what it’s like to be out of work for an extended period of time, he puts the experience into perspective.
After all, looking back at his unemployment around the time of the Great Recession made him realize, “that was actually the start of a new life for me.”
And that “new life” led him down the path of starting his own psychotherapy and mental health counseling practice.
INSPIRATION FOR THIS ISSUE:
We’ve started to hear about more layoffs lately.
Most of us have been laid off at one time or another (that includes me).
It can be brief, or it can be a long and painful process.
Either way, it’s stressful.
If you’re supporting a family when it happens, the pressure can feel even greater. Or as Jorge can attest, it can make you feel despair.
When you’re going through it, it can definitely be demoralizing.
But, with time, you realize it gave you an opportunity at self-reflection.
You got a chance to reflect on what you wanted to do next, what was important to you and where you wanted the next phase of life to take you.
That’s why I started this issue discussing how, even though we assign a positive or negative connotation to various pivotal moments in life, even the “bad” ones can lead to positive outcomes.
Jorge’s conclusion that he really learned to be a great father and husband during his period of unemployment really illustrates the need for perspective and proper context for some of those “bad” moments.
Instead, he gained a proper sense of what it takes to be a good family man and he made sure to value the job and opportunities that followed.
It certainly didn’t sour him on taking a chance and leaving his secure world as a college professor.
Use whatever pivotal moment you face, good or bad, to reflect not on the immediate effects but on the bigger picture and where it fits in to helping you fulfill not just your career goals but your life’s purpose. #theskyisNOTthelimit
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🌴Sending you my very best wishes as you go after your dreams! Thanks for your loyal support.😺